As a Phoenix divorce attorney a common question I find people asking is “what can I avoid in a divorce procedure?” Although every divorce is unique and can be very complicated I put together a list of 10 (ten) helpful points that can be useful in general and can be applicable in almost every divorce case.
1. Always consider mediation
Surprisingly not many couples opt for mediation. I recommend that you at least consider choosing for mediation. This is a more sensible approach and you are able to control the process. This often speeds up the divorce process because only one mediator is involved and it is much more cost effective. We offer mediation at Enholm Law.
2. Do not delay your divorce procedure
Divorce procedures are connected to the hourly fee of professionals. This means if the spouses, the professionals or other parties delay the process the financial frustration grows each and every day. Remember, for example, while you are working and building your settlement this is subject to division.
3. Move forward with your life
If you do decide to divorce, it is very normal that you need time to digest and process what has just happened. Some take longer to do this than others, but in general, after a healthy grieving period it is time to move forward. Forgiving yourself and your partner is a healthy way to start moving forward with your future.
4. Try not to involve family and friends
It may sound illogical, and even counter intuitive, but your family, best friends or colleagues, really shouldn’t be your first choice of a counselor. Of course a divorce is an emotional time and it definitely feels safe and familiar to rely on your mother or best friend, but know that they will have strong opinions, and most likely will be biased. This can hinder the process to be neutral and productive. Again mediation is a good way to have neutral council and support in decision making.
5. Stay away from social media
Today more and more people share a lot of information on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms. It can be very seductive to share your divorce frustrations with family and friends. Don’t purposely attempt to upset the other party by “tagging” yourself with other men/women, parties or bars you have attended, or by making crude remarks. My advice is to stay off any social media account you may have until the divorce is final.
6. Do not talk about your new relationship
Sometimes it makes people feel better to speak about their new relationship… about how much better it is right now than it was in the past with your “soon to be ex”. These conversations are much more appropriate once the divorce proceeding is final.
7. Your lawyer can’t fix everything
If you proceed on your own without an Arizona Family Law attorney you may step on a minefield and not realize it.
8. Avoid being selfish or vindictive
According to an Old Dutch saying, people who can’t ‘divide’ (capital) are not able to ‘multiply’ either. This statement is true in divorce procedures. If both parties can find the will power to simply wish each other a brighter and better future then the end result will be both parties winning. In the beginning this will be difficult. However, it’s an inconvenient truth you must live with because ultimately it’s what has to happen to continue forward with your life.
9. Understand the context
It’s important to understand every decision and agreement made during a divorce procedure. Be certain you understand every word in the divorce agreement you will have to sign. It’s here where a good lawyer or mediator can make the difference. Question your lawyer until you understand it completely. It is what you hire them for.
10. Do be cheap, it is expensive
Never forget a divorce is the final collaboration in your relationship before you part ways. Do not engage in new conflicts and avoid placing blame on the other person. Be mature and respectful; sometimes just have to bite your tongue. If you choose to express yourself do it calmly and make sure to wish each other a bright new future. Your last collaboration is your ticket to a positive new start so use it wisely.
At Enholm Law, PLLC, we take our clients seriously and realize that you are turning to us to help protect your rights and interests during this difficult process. Our staff, along with your Phoenix Divorce Lawyer, has been trained to provide you the personal and legal support you require at this time.
Call (602) 889-6273 today to arrange your initial consultation with an Enholm Law, PLLC Phoenix Divorce Lawyer.